He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
