I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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