I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
