we have pet lesbian snakes
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize