the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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