All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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