It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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