i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
