i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
