I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
