that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
the liver wants what the liver wants
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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