get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
