**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
