So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
