VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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