drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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