I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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