we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize