Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
