Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
