I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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