if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
