you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
