i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
only if we run a train.
done.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Just pee around me
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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