I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
