Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
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