we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
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