let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
