In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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