doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
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