I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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