I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
