He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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