Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Ladies don't puke and tell
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
