4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
