Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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