He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
