garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
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