So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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