I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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