She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
