I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
