I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
