I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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