You just made me feel so damn special
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
