Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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