Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize