it wasn't lemon gatorade
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
