I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize