All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
