I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
love makes seman taste better
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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