she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
