I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
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Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
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