If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
