just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
