This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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