Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
