1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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